We showed this video, "It's Not About the Nail" in a message series about relationships... 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

So we decided to (somewhat) even the score a bit as we launched into the message.  Text for the public service announcement about HMS (a serious medical condition) is below:

I'm here today to talk about a serious medical condition affecting many couples that you may not be aware of... it's known by the acronym, HMS and, while no cure is currently known, great advances are being made to make the disease chronic - by managing symptoms aggressively.

 Understanding HMS, will help us overcome it.

 HMS typically affects males more than females and some symptoms include:

- a temporary inability to stand or walk

- selective amnesia

- partial blindness

- random vocalizations and plaintive cries for help

- lethargy and sudden narcoleptic drowsiness

- fascination with sporting events

- weakness in the hands, resulting in reduced ability to bring things to the kitchen

- dry mouth and odd requests for beverages

- inability to find scissors, or other things right in front of him

- loss of time

- inability to read simple "to do" lists

If you suspect your spouse or boyfriend suffers from HMS, or Helpless Man Syndrome, hope is not lost.

 With medication and coping mechanisms, many men with HMS lead full and productive lives.

If you hear this:

Man Example: "Uh, honey?  Do we have any duct tape?"

Or, perhaps more commonly...

Man Example: "Where is that big spoon?  I thought we had a big spoon!"

And then he immediately falls asleep... your significant other may have undiagnosed HMS. 

 You're not alone.  We can help.

 This public service announcement made by the Foundation of Longsuffering Women Who Think that Men are Pretty Cute Anyway.

Surreal.  That's the word for yesterday, the 16th of September.  Voicemails barraging the phones, emails and texts intruding faster than could be read, and facebook comments--all asking the same thing:  Is everybody ok?   Hmmm. . . let's check the systems. . . I'm not in Mexico or Colorado being swept away by flash floods.  There's no fire out of control headed into the cul-de-sac.  Better turn on the telly. 

Oh, now I get it.  Mass murder at the Navy Yard, in line of sight, it seems, of where the Nationals were to keep post-season hope alive by burying the Braves later that day.  But it was not to be.  Three?  No, only two?  No, again, maybe just one gunman had plans for another kind of burial.  In addition to his, 12 other families received the worst news possible before turning in for the night.  My guess?  No real turning in occurred--just tossing and turning and tears.

I should have remained fixed on that scene, as I suppose most of DC did. But I didn't, though.  I found myself captivated by 6 cars not normally in my neighborhood and the 8 police officers they brought with them.  While the nation's capital was immersed in questions of multiple shooters and "Was this an act of terrorism?", much more quietly on my street another living thing was dying that wouldn't make the news--a relationship between husband and wife.  And I couldn't help but think about their wedding and how much in love they had to have been then and wonder, "How'd they get to this point?  Where did things start to go off the rails?"

And then I remembered.  God told us everything we need to know about relationships and how hard they would be to pull off successfully after the rebellion in the garden.  The basic operating system we all bring to the table when we arrive on the planet?  How can I manipulate you, control you, use you, twist you, pressure you, coerce you, frustrate you, tease you, lead you, force you, tempt you, abuse you for my own selfish interests.  I'll hang with you as an acquaintance, as a BFF, as a romantic interest only if I'm getting what I want. When I don't, I'm outta here.  Yeah, it's why most marriages end.  It's why most that don't are not all that happy.  It's why people who are afraid of failure decide to just live together first. But, of course, the stats prove that this doesn't help.  In fact, the divorce rate is 50% higher still for couples who live together first.  Relationships are hard.

But, with grimness all around me, the day ended with the video above that restored joy and hope.  After weeks of sacrifice and energy, the little outside playhouse was ready for the grand unveiling to our twin granddaughters.  The project was motivated by my wife and daughter's love for those two girls.  Painting, making little blankets for the dolls, a little tea party table and all the accompaniments.   And the recurring theme you hear is this:   "It's so beautiful!"  Yeah, it was.  Because when love, real love is expressed--not that cheap "I'm gonna get mine"--but the real thing flowing out of a heart that just has to give no matter what, it really is so beautiful. 

And I was reminded that it's possible, through Jesus, to break the curse.  Reminded that relationships don't have to fall apart, don't have to result in tragedy, don't have to end in anger or rage or bullets or a barricade.  They do, I know, but they don't have to.